Fisting is a sex practice whereby several fingers, the whole hand, or multiple hands are inserted into the vagina or anus. For many, this is a massive turn on. For others, it can feel a little daunting… Does it hurt? How should you prepare? How can you broach the subject with a partner? If you’re asking yourself these questions, you’re not alone.
With some guidance and support, you can better understand the realities of fisting and how this can be explored safely, unlocking new realms of pleasure. Thankfully, we have an expert on hand to help you do just that.
Lara, a.k.a. Divine Theratrix, a multi-modality practitioner from JOYclub (an online erotic community with over five million members) who focuses on consciously applied kink as a vehicle for self-discovery, is sharing this beginners’ guide. If fisting is something you want to explore, this is for you.
Who practices fisting and why?
“Fisting is popular with all kinds of folks who enjoy intense sensations, and it works well both vaginally and anally. Moreover, people assigned male at birth, and some trans women, have G-spots in their prostate, meaning this can create intense sensations,” said Lara. “Fisting can be an incredibly intense and pleasurable experience, creating a sense of ‘fullness’ that people love. A hand also stimulates a much larger area than a single finger, delivering maximum pleasure when practiced appropriately.”
But for Lara, satisfaction comes from listening to your body and prioritising your preferences. “If you’re starting out, don’t rush the process – allow yourself time to figure out exactly what you like.”
Do you use the whole fist?
Fisting makes use of the whole hand, although not necessarily in the shape of a fist; the insertion of several fingers and a stretched hand counts as fisting too.
“In fact, I would advise beginners start exploring fisting by inserting several fingers or a stretched hand. Described as ‘the duckbill’, this is achieved by vertically separating your thumb from your fingers when inserted. Gently stretching the area, you can get used to these sensations and take your journey step by step.”
The beginner’s checklist
“There are lots of things you should consider before trying fisting for the first time,” Lara said.
Here are some of Lara’s beginner’s checklist:
- Ensure you’re informed: “You must understand what you can expect from fisting, how it should be practiced and its potential risks. Do your research and make sure you’re prepared.”
- Create a relaxed atmosphere: You must be relaxed to enjoy fisting. So, create a space you feel comfortable in. “Focus on what brings you peace and contentment; whether that’s a room filled with candles, sensual music or something a little more niche, prioritise the things that make you feel calm and relaxed.”
- Prioritize strong communication and mutual trust: “As with all sex practices, you must feel comfortable communicating with your partner, expressing consent, discussing your likes and dislikes, and establishing clear boundaries. Communication really is key, so keep checking in with each other. Meanwhile, if you want to broach this subject with your partner for the first time, don’t put pressure on them, remain openminded, and be prepared to answer their questions.”
- Lube up: “I would recommend using a fisting cream specifically designed for this practice; creams are thicker and make penetration smoother, whilst being gentler on the skin, remaining smooth for a long time and being free from perfumes. Although, you should ultimately use what you feel most comfortable with, considering the kind of activity you enjoy, if you’re wearing gloves, and if you have any allergies or sensitivities.”
There are some advantages to water-based lubricants, for example. They’re inexpensive, easy to clean/ wash away, and can be used with all gloves and dildos, although they don’t last very long, and you might feel sticky when it dries. “You’ll find silicone-based lubricants are longer-lasting, can be used in the shower and aren’t sticky – they come at a price though! You also shouldn’t use them with silicone dildos. No matter what, avoid petroleum-based products like Vaseline or baby oil.”
- Remember, hygiene is fundamental: “There are steps you can take to ensure fisting is safe and hygienic. For example, disposable latex gloves aren’t mandatory, but they can make a beginner’s experience easier as lubricant quickly absorbs into the skin. Also, remember to empty your bowels and rinse lightly before you get started.”
- Always cut your nails if you need to: “I would advise against fisting if you have long nails, this can cause discomfort and injury for obvious reasons. Give them a trim beforehand if you need to!”
For cisgender women, “the vagina is naturally very stretchy; however, you do need a lot of moisture for fisting to be enjoyable. That said, don’t underestimate the importance of foreplay.”
In listening to your body, “it is also important that fingers are increased gradually to establish what your vagina is comfortable with. Ensure fisting movements are gentle, not jerky, slowly moving backwards and forwards; the mucous membranes of the vagina cannot withstand unlimited strain, so be gentle. If you’re fisting your partner, watch their reactions and communicate to make sure they’re at ease and wanting to carry on.”
As you progress, you can try twisting motions. Don’t be afraid to tailor fisting to your preferences, have fun with it when you’re ready to!’
How do I avoid injuries?
“The risk of injury is much higher with anal fisting because the anus isn’t as flexible as the vagina. Rough movements can also cause anal fissures (tears) which, in some cases, lead to infection, perforation of the bowel and/or damage to your sphincter and pelvic floor muscles. Always be cautious and if fisting becomes painful, stop what you’re doing.”
Will I orgasm?
“You can orgasm through fisting. In fact, lots of people feel these orgasms are stronger than those achieved by penile penetration. Naturally, they differ from person to person; you might orgasm thanks to the volume you feel or the movement of your partner’s fingers. Again, this is why it’s important for you to figure out what you like and how you like it,” Lara said.
It’s also important that “you leave an hour between fisting and penetrative vaginal sex, as the vagina shouldn’t be overstretched or overstimulated for a short time afterwards.”
Ultimately, “fisting can be a hugely satisfying experience for anyone. By exploring this practice safely, listening to your body, and communicating with your partner, you can maximise your pleasure and enjoy an incredible orgasm,” Lara ended.
If you have any questions about fisting, check out JOYclub.com for support and advice.
