New relationships can often feel like they’re on shaky ground. The time after just getting together often comes with a pair of rose tinted glasses, and there’s nothing you or your partner could ever do to get on each other’s nerves.
But when these relationship highs start to plateau out into normality, the things that you once overlooked may start to highlight certain incompatibilities between the two of you. Of course, not every single thing you take issue with will really mean you’re incompatible, but it can be hard to recognize whether this is true or not.
And that can make tackling sensitive subjects very difficult. You don’t want to ‘rock the boat’, as the expression goes, especially when you’ve been so happy and settled thus far. New relationships often mean you have very little experience in trying to communicate about something serious, and when the time comes to do so, things can blow out of proportion.
Let’s try and ensure that doesn’t happen. Relationships can be very complicated to handle, and there needs to be an active effort in showing love to one another. But at the same time, you can’t let the issues pass by without comment. As such, here’s how to tackle the sensitive subjects in a way that maintains this love and trust while still allowing you to speak honestly.
Don’t Just Complain
If you want to talk about something a little sensitive and somewhat touchy with a new partner, never walk into the conversation with complaints alone. You can tell your partner that you were bothered by something that happened or was said, but don’t just tell them that you didn’t like it or would prefer they never do it again.
You don’t want to come across as someone who has a communication style that veers on the ‘order and command’ territory, especially when you’re simply trying to express a boundary. Boundaries are there to help the two of you come together in a way that makes both of you happy. Be careful about your phrasing; you don’t want it to sound like you want your partner to just act in the way you want.
Relationships are often about working together and compromising, and that’s the kind of energy you want to employ here. That means bringing up the subject with the goal of finding a solution, rather than creating a field of complaint for you and your partner to dance around.
Listen More Than You Speak
Speaking often leads to arguments. It’s the best way to communicate with someone, of course, but it can also be excessive. That’s why you should focus on your listening skills, and use them whenever you want to tackle a sensitive subject with your partner.
Let the person know what you’re feeling, and then give them the same time, space, and respect to speak up about their side of things.
In listening more than you speak, you take the conversation at a pace that’s slow, gentle, and much more welcoming. You may even learn something you never knew before, that could help you to understand your partner in a much better way.
Say you want to talk about their diet, and how they approach healthy eating. This method could allow them to open up about potential body image insecurities, how they’ve been looking into weight loss injections to achieve the look they want, and how they may have been afraid to tell you about any of it.
In listening more than you’ve been speaking, you’ve made it easier for them to confront this fear about being honest with you. It also gives you the opportunity to be more supportive than you are accusatory, which is never a good angle to come from.
Ask if They’re Ready to Talk
Big conversations need to be prepped for. If you’d like to talk about something sensitive with your partner, don’t just walk in and immediately lay it down for them.
Ask if they’re OK to approach something a little personal with you, and don’t let yourself be offended if they ask to talk about it another time. You’re doing the right thing by testing the waters, and ensuring everyone is OK to get into something deeper. If they say no, respect that.
You can tell them what the general subject will be, but anything more than that should be saved for after their agreement. And if it seems like they’re trying to avoid the conversation with you, be sure to let them know your boundaries around behavior like this. This chat will need to happen.
Don’t Try to Squeeze in This Kind of Conversation
A related point to the one just above – never try to have one of these more serious, potentially touchy conversations at a time when you don’t really have the space for it. If your partner is getting ready for work, for example, they’re not going to have the time (or mindset) to stick around and have it out properly with you.
Saving a conversation like this is key. Pick your moment very carefully, and make sure you yourself have the time to go into it. If you’re in the middle of work and you want to text your partner about something that’s bothered you, it’s probably better to wait until you’re home again. After all, your lunch hour won’t last forever.
Talking to a New Partner About Sensitive Subjects
When you’re in a brand new relationship, the honeymoon phase can make it feel like you’re never going to have tension with each other. But that feeling will soon wear off, and when it does, it’s best to have the tips above on your side.
You can build a very healthy, supportive relationship with your partner, but you need to ensure you’re communicating with each other in the best way. Remember, the more personal the ‘issue’ is, the more sensitive it is likely to be, but you can still talk about it and work together.
