As you probably know by this point, it’s so hard to actually relax. And you know why? Well, the world’s been serving constant doom-and-gloom headlines constantly, like it’s never-ending. And so yeah, it honestly feels like things keep getting worse with no clear end in sight.
Then, just to really add to the experience, being online makes it louder. You can’t scroll TikTok, IG, YouTube, well, anywhere for even a minute without being reminded how disgusting this world is be it ragebait, inflation, politics, the environment, animals, human rights, only, this list could go on forever, but don’t forget how horrible the comment section is to (and you know for a fact not all of them are bots either).
As nice as it would all be to just put the phone down, turn the TV off, walk away from the computer, and just “reset” your brain, it doesn’t work like that; instead, everything just keeps running. Everything just keeps replaying. Be it something you saw online, something that personally happened to you, maybe you’re battling with chronic pain, something you read bothers you, but you get the idea. So, it’s hard to just really get around all of this. Because the whole “just relax” might sound nice, but how can you when your brain is basically just doing laps?
Well, rest isn’t only sleep. It’s getting the nervous system to unclench for a second, so the brain stops acting like it’s on call 24/7, but how can you even do that, though?
Why Does Scrolling Feel Like Rest?
That’s what most people do nowadays, they just scroll. Now, scrolling can feel like a break because it’s low effort. No decisions, no chores, no emotional conversations, just thumb movement and distraction. But it’s not neutral at all. Nope, it’s input. Actually, a lot of it’s stressful input, even when it’s disguised as staying informed or just checking.
And yeah, it’s absolutely true here that the brain loves novelty, so it keeps going. So, another post, another headline, another video, another hot take, another thing to worry about. It might be a weird comparison here, but in a weird way, it’s like trying to calm down by standing next to a siren and insisting it’s fine when obviously nothing is fine here. Doom scrolling is a giant problem. At this rate, most people can very much agree that this is a problem; it causes anxiety, depression, and well, “doom” is literally right in the name!
Plus, doom scrolling trains the brain to scan for threat, so even in a safe living room, the brain can still act like danger’s nearby, because it’s been fed danger all day.
But Rest Needs a Boundary
Alright, so the first move isn’t “try harder to relax.” As generic and annoying as that answer is, no, it can’t, and it won’t work that way either. Instead, that’s basically how people end up annoyed at themselves for not being able to do something that’s supposed to be calming. So instead, the first move is building a boundary between the nervous system and the noise.
So, a boundary can be small. It can be a time limit, a routine, or a physical shift, but overall, here, just understand that the brains love cues. If the cue is always scroll until the eyes hurt, well, the brain learns that nights are for stimulation, not decompression (hence why people sometimes stay awake all night). But a good boundary is something that feels almost too simple, because complicated routines won’t stick when someone’s already exhausted. Does the balance make sense?
There Shouldn’t be Motivation for Rest
Basically, here, there shouldn’t be some sort of motivation for all of this; it’s more about “falling” into this. So, just above it stated boundaries, specifically the “if your routine is doom scrolling at night, then your brain is awake”, that’s basically the point that was being made at least. So you need to create boundaries and, at the same time, create routines to go with those boundaries too.
But it’s really going to help to have a comfort cue, one that’s physical It’s honestly going to depending on your preferences, but some people like to burn a scented candle, have a warm shower, wear warm socks, a blanket straight out of the dryer, a heating pad, a mug of something warm, and others might do all the above while using a mushroom vape to try and help the brain switch off. But you need to start with a sensory experience (ideally not a sensory overload, though, because that keeps your brain revved up), but a sensory comfort to (physically speaking) is instead going to tell the brain to downshift.
What Can You Do When the Brain Starts Spiraling?
Maybe this feels relatable to you, but spirals just feel urgent, right? Like, the brain insists something must be solved right now, at night, while tired, with limited information. But it’s not like you can solve it. So while this might come off as a bit unhelpful (just please try it anyway), you should label that spiral.
No, not just analyzing it, just naming it. This is a fear spiral. This is a control spiral. This is a regret spiral. Just something like that, but why do this? Well, naming it creates distance. It stops the thought from being treated like a command.
Then you need to redirect, like, what is the brain so worried about? What can be done tomorrow about this? Can the brain tie up loose ends for this? The reason for this is that your brain is basically “yelling” if you want to call it that, and it needs to be heard. Some people journal, have a diary, or even do a journalist voice note, and those can help too.
Does the Rest Itself Feel Safe?
If the brain doesn’t feel safe, then it’s hard to actually rest, that’s just how all living things are wired. For some people, stillness brings up worries that were successfully avoided all day. For others, being off feels like falling behind. For others, the world feels unstable, so the brain thinks staying alert is responsible. So rest has to be reintroduced gently. Like start with ten minutes, ten minutes of doing absolutely nothing, and it will get to the point where your nervous system can and will calm down because it doens’t think anything needs fixing.
