This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBTQIA+ people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA+ people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Azia, a 23-year-old transgender woman from Mabolo in Cebu, was 16 years old when she became a sex worker. “Tung naa akong friends sa Mabolo, nikuyog ko nila. Laag-laag, ana. Ara ra sa mga… sa mga dalan-dalan sila nag-unsa (I went with my friends from Mabolo. We went around, did things like that. They picked up customers from the streets),” she said.
The work eventually moved online, and with non-Filipino clients. “Sa WhatsApp, sa Pinalove, ug sa Facebook.”
Azia considers herself an on-and-off “illegal model” (one of the slang terms for sex worker). Particularly now, when she doesn’t work as often as she used to.
“Usahay na lang muuban, panagsa na lang. Kay naa man koy bantayan sa manghod. Kanang ganahan… ana (I don’t go with friends often, just sometimes. I am looking after a younger sibling. So I just join them if I feel like it).”
Though this was also because of fear.
“Kay mahdlok man. Maskin kanang mag-meet–meet. Kulatahon. Basi bugal-bugalan, ana. Kung feeling nako kulbaan ko, dili ko mag-meet (I am also afraid. Even when meeting clients. They may physically abuse me. They may hurt me, or do something like that. So if I am nervous, I refuse to meet).”
BABY GIRL
Azia was around 12 years old when she realized she’s transgender. “Nagduwa kog Barbie, and dira na ko nagkuyog-kuyog mga babaye. Feeling nako babae (I played with Barbie dolls, and was friends with girls. I identified as a girl).”
Her parents are separated; there are three of them full siblings, and she has four half-siblings.
“Kabawo sila nga baye ko (They know I’m a transgender woman),” she said. “Nadawat man (They accept me).”
Growing up transgender meant relying on non-family members who – perhaps – understood her experience more. For Azia, her friends – the same ones who introduced her to sex work – were her transitioning mentors. “Ang hormones, friends nanudlo. Wala ko nanan-aw online, sunod ra sa mga friends (With using hormones, my friends taught me. I didn’t check online, I just followed my fiends).”
CONSIDERING PROTECTION
As a sex worker, Azia is fearful of getting infected with HIV… though her fears are grounded on misconceptions, if not the actual lack of knowledge, related to HIV.
“Ang HIV kay kanang… blood to blood man. HIV kanang di puwede sa kanang mga samad-samad, mag-kops, unya sa saliva… kanang kung naa kay HIV dili magkiss kay basi matakdan ka. Kanang dili sad puwed emagsirit ang dugo, ana. Kanang masamad ka ba, dili puwede ma-kuwan… maigo sad ka sa kuwan… masamad sad siya (HIV is transmitted from blood to blood. So you can’t have wounds, or do oral sex, and share saliva… that is, if you have HIV, you shouldn’t kiss or else infect others. No squirting of blood, too, as it could spread to those who’d be hit by the blood).”
Azia said she fears the stigma and discrimination linked with HIV.
“Mahadlok ko matakdan sa HIV kay basin kanang kung naa ta kuwan ta sa mga ano, pamilya o sa atong mga amiga kay basin magdagan na sila. Mao na. basin ma-depress ta, hikog na lang ta ani. Kay naa man ma-depress nga diretso-diretso lang gyud. Dili nila huna-hunaon nga naa bay tambal (I am afraid to be infected with HIV because my family and friends may be scared of me and run away from me. When this happens, I could get depressed, and then kill myself. There are people who get depressed and just kill themselves. They won’t consider that there’s medicine available).”
UNDERSERVED PEOPLE
Azia said she is aware of condoms and lubricants as tools to protect herself; along with her friends, now and then, she goes to the local social hygiene clinic to get supplies. Before these supplies are given, they are “forced” to undergo HIV testing, which – she said – is a “confrontational approach” to making them want to look after themselves. “Morag pugos (Seems like being forced).”
But Azia doesn’t know of other tools that may be available for her to protect her from getting infected with HIV – e.g. pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP). And yet she also knows that even if medicines that could help them exist, if these are not made readily available and accessible to them, then none of them will be using it.
“If good gani nga imnum siya para sa atong kaayuhan, imnun gyud (If it’s good to take it for our own sake, I’d take it),” she said. But “asa ni makuha? Adto sa duol para puwede ra mi mosakay (where do we get it? It should be from somewhere near us so its easy for us to travel to get it).”
Azia stressed, though, that “sa PrEP, wala jud ko kadungog (with PrEP, I really have not heard about it).”
FUTURE MOVES
Like many of her friends, Azia said she is uncertain how long she’d work in the sex industry. “On and off lagi.”
But she acknowledges that as long as it allows her to make a living, she’s likely to stay in it. “Wala baya ko kahuman eskuwela (I didn’t finish schooling).”
So, she stressed, she is “making the most of what I have… akong lawas (my body).” And that, she said, is that.
