In theory, young people describe sexual consent as something obvious, based on trust, respect, and mutual understanding. But when they share their own experiences, a more complex picture emerges. They admit sometimes having sex even when they do not truly want to.
“It can be about not wanting to disappoint someone, wanting to be kind, or living up to expectations. Saying yes sometimes feels easier than saying no,” says Kristin Blom, PhD student in Social Work at the University of Gothenburg.
Consent Shaped by Gender Norms
The thesis explores how young people are influenced by societal norms around gender and sexuality. Young men describe pressure to be respectful and egalitarian, while also feeling the need to impress peers with sexual experiences.
Young women, on the other hand, often feel compelled to be attractive and accommodating, making it harder to say no for fear of being perceived as boring or difficult.
“This affects the choices young people make in sexual situations. Consent is sometimes given to fit into a role, not because they truly want to. Norms can make it difficult to navigate these situations and give consent on one’s own terms, especially when young and inexperienced,” says Kristin Blom.
A Gap Between Ideals and Practice
While young people hold a clear ideal of how consent should work, safe, mutual, and ongoing, real-life communication is often more subtle and context-dependent. Consent may be expressed verbally, non-verbally, or even silently.
“It’s not always clear what you or the other person wants. In theory, consent should be given and received before and during every sexual act, with the freedom to change your mind. But in practice, it’s not always a clear verbal question and answer,” Blom explains.
A Societal Issue That Requires Dialogue
The research began in the wake of the #MeToo movement and the introduction of Sweden’s consent law. Blom emphasizes the importance of open conversations about sex and consent, especially in schools, youth clinics, and among adults.
“Sex education in schools and the work of youth clinics are especially important in helping young people reflect on and articulate their experiences,” she says.
Both the thesis and a recent report from the Swedish Schools Inspectorate show that young people themselves want more education and dialogue about sex, consent, and relationships.
“It’s important to talk about how consent isn’t always simple. That makes it easier to understand your own desires—and to challenge narrow ideals,” says Blom.
