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Op-Ed

That time my partee-going partner’s mom asked: ‘Do you know why he has injection marks?’

You have a partee-going partner, and his mother asks you why he has injection marks. Without pre-empting him to come clean, what do you tell her?

Photo by Sir Manuel from Unsplash.com

“I have a question: Do you know why Tar has injection marks?”

Those were the words of Tar’s mom. She messaged out of the blue; we have been communicating particularly through Messenger, but we have not chatted for weeks at least, so this message was surprising.

And seriously, I didn’t know what to say/how to answer.

Tar had been partee-ing, or engaging in using drugs for sex, for years now. I have come to accept this to be part of who he is (at least right now, and for now). One who’s easy to be tempted by his drug-addicted partee-mates, who call on him when they need to use and abuse his body for their own benefit. Longing for what he was may be understandable (I think so), but counterintuitive as he is THIS person now.

Tar is aware of what this does to him as a whole – e.g. the drug-induced illnesses that he ended up facing alone, and with his partee-mates neglecting to support him (like paying the hospital bills) even if they mainly caused these illnesses (like pumping him with more drugs without his consent just so they can “squeeze” more “effort” from him); the skipping of work, so that he already lost jobs; the lying that became commonplace; and so on.

It is his burden.

But then for those who donot partee with him, and who know all these, there’s also this load to bear: this knowing of the real story, and yet not knowing what to do about it.

Such as in providing an answer to that question from his mother.

“I’ll ask him.”

That’s the answer I gave. It was lame, I admit. But I did not want to pre-empt Tar from coming clean to her, to them (his family).

I continue to believe it is HIS story to tell (MY storytelling is limited to MY reaction/s to it). Particularly to those closest to him. Such as when he was honest with me, and bared himself to me when he told me about this.

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Truth be told: I have yet to ask Tar. The moment to do so seemed to have passed (he didn’t use again for weeks, so partee-related talks didn’t happen again for a while).

But it doesn’t mean it is forgotten.

Because this stumps me. Because his partee-ing has just entrapped another victim: his mom. One who’s only worried about her son. But one whose concern is trumped by the “needs” and demands of these partee-goers Tar picked up from Telegram, Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, Viber, Grindr and Romeo.

Alas, all part of the ever-widening abusive net that drug-induced partee weaves.

Written By

Frolic Lopez - a pen name, quite apparently - used to be (predominantly) sapiosexual (that is, he used to predominantly find intelligence sexually attractive/arousing). But then... life happened, and he discovered that he should be more 'trysexual', more open to possibilities to experience everything life can offer. He now writes - and shares - about everything life throws his way.

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