This is part of #KaraniwangLGBTQIA, which Outrage Magazine officially launched on July 26, 2015 to offer vignettes of LGBTQIA+ people/living, particularly in the Philippines, to give so-called “everyday people” – in this case, the common LGBTQIA+ people – that chance to share their stories.
As Outrage Magazine editor Michael David C. Tan says: “All our stories are valid – not just the stories of the ‘big shots’. And it’s high time we start telling all our stories.”
Mama Rey, who recently turned 60, was in elementary school when he knew he’s gay. At that time, he saw male varsities playing, and it triggered his desire of the male body.
“There were boys playing sipa outside my elementary school,” he said in the vernacular, “and I watched them. They wore shorts, and it aroused me.”
It was, for him, hard because he said he knew he needed to hide his sexuality.
Buhay Holcim
Then – and even now – Mama Rey believes gay men, in particular, need to act in certain ways to be acceptable.
“I don’t fully express myself as a gay man. No swaying of hips, no vulgar movements. My mannerisms, the way I walk, they’re still manly,” he said.
He admitted, however, that he can be vain. So he puts on make-up. But he justified this by claiming it is “necessary because of the way people live now.”
Family issues
Mama Rey has four siblings, and he is the second youngest. He thinks his family knows he’s gay, but they don’t talk about this.
“They have a sense of it, but they don’t directly tell me: ‘You’re gay!’. Nothing like that,” he said.
Hiding is regularly done by Mama Rey. He is, for instance, currently unemployed, which he hides from his family. He said he has to pretend to his family by dressing up like he’s going to work, when – really – he just goes out to scavenge.
Mama Rey did not finish school, which – he said – was due to his issues with his identity. But at his age, Mama Rey said he finally realized he’d be happy if he accepted himself.
“I used to run away while in high school. I wanted to find myself, to know where I am to late myself, if it’s to be with men or with women,” he said. “Now, though, I know that I should go with what makes me truly happy.”
Love as a transaction
Mama Rey believes love for gay men and their partners is transactional.
“If you have a lover, he’d go to you daily. ‘Let’s smoke.’ ‘Let’s grab coffee.’ I don’t like that arrangement. I want flings; one-night stands,” he said.
Life lessons
For Mama Rey, it is only right that younger LGBTQIA+ people enjoy their youth. But they should also learn to be responsible.
“Enjoy it while you’re young. I was like that, too,” he said. “But let me tell you this: Prioritize your responsibilities to yourself, your siblings, your family.”
And for those who continue to not accept LGBTQIA+ people, Mama Rey said respect should be taught. After all, we are all humans.
“We are all humans. We all have feelings. So I beg you, please respect us. That’s all I want to say,” Mama Rey ended.
